BOSTON AP - An activist group hoping to pressure the Roman Catholic church into dropping its long-standing prohibition barring women from the priesthood says it ordained three women on Sunday.

"Catholics who attempt to confer a sacred order on a woman, and the women who attempt to receive a sacred order, are by their own actions separating themselves from the church," the archdiocese said.

Women, do you not know your place? Do you not know that claiming equality in this world of male gods and demigods is frightening, especially to the sociopaths all dressed up in hideous robes using rituals and morbid statues to recruit and control? What if you piss off this all-loving, all-knowing God who created earth in six days, and rested on the seventh? A quick check of world conditions will prove to you that Father knows best.

Admittedly, we males have not done anything but talk about the needless murders of over two million women and children in Africa; but after all, they're black and most were HIV carriers. It's only natural that millions are being slaughtered in the Middle East because this all-knowing God made a stupid mistake and gave them oil they didn't need but the U.S. and U.K. needs desperately if we're to maintain our current lifestyle. Hey, you can't blame us guys for this global warming. Had this stupid Christian God not rested on the seventh day and put in place an effective anti-pollution system instead of just some trees that he should have known we were going to cut down, there wouldn't be a problem with greenhouse gases. My best advice is for you females to do what you do best--get on those knees and earn your daily bread as the Big Kahuna intended you to do.

Bobby Miller
Florence, Alabama