"Bobby, this is God."
"Bobby…I know you can hear me, and I'm going to give you exactly three seconds to acknowledge me."
"Wow. How wonderful of you to show up, God. I mean like it's already been a whole day since we last spoke. You can't image how dreadful the wait has been."
"Bobby, how is it that you can thoroughly piss me off within seconds of us getting together? When you hear my voice or see my face in the sky, what do you think about?"
"Um…In that regard God, I'm a lot like Jack Nicolson. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
"I didn't know Jack felt that way about me. I've blessed him with fame, fortune and some of the best ass on the planet."
"I'm just telling you what I personally heard Jack say. He didn't give any details, God."
"Okay, if that's the way it's got to be, that's the way it's got to be."
"I've got a tell you God, the last time we talked you said you didn't like to repeat yourself; that flip-flop just might get you thrown out of the synagogue."
"Whatever, Bobby, I'm going to go see how my boy Jack handles a bad case of the stutters."
