ANCHORAGE, Alaska – Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told ministry students at her former church that the United States sent troops to fight in the Iraq war on a "task that is from God."

As a registered Republican, I apologize for this pack of lying hyenas and hope they lose the 2008 election by a landslide. Eight years of nothing but lies has left a million dead, an empty treasury, billions in debts, and secret torture camps around the world.

It's not often you get to torture one of these Christian leeches as they have tortured others, but opportunities do come along. The mall was getting ready to close when I walked out into the parking lot. There was only one car their besides mine and it was parked two spaces away. The hood was raised and a woman was in the car looking really stressed. The guy was standing by the car and it was obvious he was waiting for me to get to my car. He says, "My wife is not feeling good, and the car won't start. Do you have jumper cables?"

I said, "Yes," and started for the cables.

He said, "Thank you, God."

I stopped and asked, "What did you just say."

He says, "I was just thanking God for sending you. My wife is seriously ill."

I walked up to this guy and with my face about a foot from his, I said, "God didn't send me dipshit. For all I care, you can push your damn car."

To my utter amazement this guy asked, "Do you have a cell phone so I can call 911?"

It was all I could do to keep from taking out my old Buck 110 knife and cutting this guys throat while the woman watched. I'm glad I didn't since God evidently had arranged for their car to stop working so he could bring this woman to be with Him in heaven. She did die in that parking lot, and it was on their 40th anniversary according to the paper. I was just glad I could see to it that God's will was done. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Bob Miller